It's no secret that residency is tough. Medical residents work crazy hours with little free time and almost never enough sleep. So it's not a surprise that residency can take a serious toll on our personal lives.
Dating, in general, is challenging but dating a physician during their residency years is completely different. The first couple of years of their residency is the hardest. Dating, in general, is challenging but dating a resident physician during their residency years is completely different.
Dating a doctor certainly sounds sexy, but dating a resident is a whole other beast. Like any relationship, dating a resident takes some work. However, it can also be incredibly rewarding if your relationship can come out on the other side. If your relationship lasts through the residency then you will be stronger for it, though the demands of being with a doctor never really go away.
Dating a doctor in residency in 8 things to know
For the purposes of this article we will be looking at things you need to know when dating a doctor in residency, where one member of the relationship is not a medical professional. This article will focus on the main things that someone outside the medical profession should know about dating a resident and what they can expect. After medical school graduation, newly minted doctors go on to their residencies in order to obtain a medical. A residency can last anywhere from one year to seven years depending on which specialty a resident chooses.
During this time, a resident works with an attending physician who serves as a mentor. The attending physician will often have several residents under their supervision so the challenge to perform well is always present. After all, everything about being a medical student and becoming a doctor is about competition with the rest of the people in your class.
All residents enter their residencies with no specific focus, even though they might know which specialty they plan to choose later on.
Choosing a high-performance specialty like surgery means more competition among residents and much more stress. Doctors in residency are expected to work long shifts. They might have a day off between shifts. Stress is part and parcel of being a doctor and the stress begins back in undergraduate studies as soon as the decision is made to pursue a career in medicine.
Sometimes it starts before that.
The real life of dating a resident
The amount of pressure students are under to make it to medical school is intense, and it never lets up until the residency is over and a doctor becomes an attending physician. That process can take a decade or more, which means relentless pressure to meet demands and pass all of the board exams to continue to the next level.
In addition to the demands of residency a resident, there are also the emotional demands of working in the medical field. This might cause a resident to shy away from her partner while she deals with the stress of losing people and that can wreak havoc on a relationship. With that in mind, you might have to sacrifice your own needs for a while to keep the relationship strong. The fact is that work will always be a top priority, if not the top dating, doing dating a resident.
They have worked hard to reach this point in their careers, and they have to keep moving forward in order to achieve their goals. In rare instances, there are people who find while doing their residency is a breeze and they embrace their relationships as a means to keep the stress levels down.
After all, you already know some of the challenges and the pressure. However, getting to know someone during his residency and trying to build a new relationship during a residency is something entirely different and you need to be ready to take a backseat to the hospital when they call on a day off. Residents might be competing with each other, but like members of the fire department or the military they form close bonds with each other thanks to the intensity of their day to day interactions.
Couples who successfully navigate a residency are usually ones where both partners are exceedingly busy. A resident and a lawyer, for example, make a great couple because they lawyer is busy trying to make partner at the law firm and will be as busy as the resident navigates residency.
Getting away from the hospital during a hour shift is next to impossible. Residency doctors may have strange hours leading to them requiring to do night shift dating. Given that the resident who answers the call first is usually the one to get the case, residents are always eager to be nearby.
That means that you need to be creative when it comes to making time to see your partner at work. And you might be surprised to find that many hospitals have really worked to step up their food game.
Dating in residency: looking for ‘the one’ while training
Since a resident will be at the hospital for 36 to 48 straight hours, that means there will be plenty of chances for breakfast, lunch and dinner. After having to deal with the stress of the job, having some time with you will be appreciated. In fact, a cafeteria date is more about your company than anything else. Even if the resident is exhausted, sitting together in a booth in companionable silence could make the best date ever.
Popping in for a surprise visit will always be a welcome diversion during one of those long shifts. Though time to visit could be cut short, understanding that showing up at the hospital to say hello is much better than going 48 hours or more without physical contact. It takes a great deal of understanding and a bit of creativity to navigate those waters, and a relationship will come out strong in the end if you can make the journey through residency together.
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