By Chris Seiter. Having an ex boyfriend be hot and cold towards you can be very confusing. Today I aim to provide the answers you are desperately seeking by taking real life hot and cold situations and dissecting them for you.
Your relationship ended a while ago. However, even after all this time, still your ex is hot and cold.
Then, the next day, their behavior changes. All of a sudden, they stop responding to your phone calls and text messages and start ignoring you. If this is something you can relate to, your ex is definitely playing a hot and cold game. You keep on wondering how they feel about you.
What are their intentions? Does your ex experience the same kind of doubt you do? Here is everything you need to know about what to do when an ex is hot and cold and why they behave like this. This can be the case even if they dumped you. Theoretically, this makes sense.
There are days when they still consider you to be their partner and when they act as if you are still in love. On the other hand, there are days when their boundaries are clear.
Moments when they feel like a victim and moments when they feel guilty for leaving you. On the other hand, there are also times when your ex feels all the love they felt for you in the past. Moments when every issue you had seems resolvable and silly. Each one of these dilemmas going on in their head reflects their behavior toward you. In a situation where, deep down, you knew what the right thing to do was but your emotions wanted to go their own way. Your ex is in a cold state and dilemma.
They know they still have strong feelings for you but on the other hand, they firmly believe that getting back with you would be a horrible idea. On the other hand, every time they see you or just hear from you, the strength of their emotions overwhelms them. So, they wonder what would be better. If they do this, will they ever get over you completely?
Will they ever fall in love with someone so deeply again? On the other hand, are their feelings worthy of doing the wrong thing? These questions are the reason why your ex is hot and cold. On the other hand, there are times when their heart gets its way.
Because they felt like your second choice and hot resort? They see this break up as a chance for you to learn your lesson.
Instead, they want to use this situation to make you grow fonder to them. The bottom line is that your ex is using reverse psychology here. They assume that the only way for you to start appreciating their presence is to sense their absence.
Self-struggle is real
Only then will you be aware that you want them by your side, and only then will you figure out their worth. Their cold and hot behavior is actually nothing more than a test you need to pass in order to get back with them.
Are you finally ready to fight for them? Will you be the one to make the move toward your reconciliation? Or will you just let them go, without lifting a finger? Will you just sit there peacefully, and watch them leave you for good?
My ex is hot and cold. what can i do?
The choice is all yours. Basically, what your ex wants is for you to try a little bit harder. Your ex wants you to fight for them. In other words, they do want to get back with you eventually.
However, they refuse to do it without putting up any sort of fight. Instead, they want to be appreciated and fought for. They just want you to put in at least the minimum amount of effort into winning them back.
This is especially true if they were the ones who left you. It would mean admitting their mistake if they were to get back with you just like that, without you even lifting a finger. The next reason why your ex is hot and cold might be the fact that they feel threatened by your presence. So, they put up a shield around their heart. They build thick walls around themselves, which serve to keep you out. Therefore, every time you come near them, they feel threatened. I hate to be the one to burst your bubble but it could be that your ex is just trying to be friendly.
Maybe they are being polite and nice to you, not because they want to get back together but because they want to remain best friends.
At first glance, this might seem utterly impossible. After all, you were in a serious relationship and there is no chance in hell that the two of you can be best friends after everything you went through.
However, this is just your point of view. On the other hand, for them, it makes perfect sense. They still have feelings for you but not the same type of feelings you have. They remember all the good memories and everything you shared together. In fact, your cold ex still wants to be a part of your life. Every time they reach out to you, you see it as a chance for getting back together.
Nevertheless, this is not their intention. Please, be realistic and think about the things you did wrong in your relationship. Think about your mistakes and wrongdoings. You see, your ex still has deep feelings for you. However, you did something to violate their trust. So, now it seems that your ex is hot and cold.
Therefore, they see this period as a kind of test. I hate to be the one to break it to you but the bitter truth is that your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend might have a new relationship you know nothing about. Whenever their new romance is going great, there is no of them. Did you do something that caused them to cut ties all of a sudden — without any explanation or closure? Then, out of the blue, they reappear in your life. Maybe they figured out that their current boyfriend or girlfriend will never love them like you did.
Or maybe they have just gotten into a fight. Beware of the possibility that your ex is doing all of this on purpose. Either way, this is the period in which your ex is constantly present in your life. After all, they want to keep you around, just in case. Whether you like to admit it or not, when your ex is hot and cold, they gain some kind of power over you. Basically, you have no say in this entire situation.
Why is my ex hot and cold with me: the 3 main reasons
Well, the truth is that in some cases, your ex is pretty much aware of all of this. They consciously play with your mind and heart. They reach out to you when they feel alone and abandoned and when there is no one else to turn to. As soon as they notice that your emotions are fading away and as soon as they see that you might forget them, they go into attack mode.
So, the next day they give you hope that reconciliation is possible. However, all of these are just empty words that are never backed up with action.