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Hook up guilt

Posted September 26, Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. The actual overall prevalence of hooking up is likely even higher, since these estimates are limited to college students.

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You do it, your mom does it, your grandpa did it Or does it. Thank you modern medicine. Sexual images are projected on television, online, and in your own thoughts. Studies show that both men and women think about sex an average of 18 — 34 times per day. For many the topic is associated with being dirty or impure, as if our natural desires were an error of some sort. We treat it like something that needs to be corrected and look upon those who engage in it casually with disdain.

Name: Roseanne
My age: 27

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Understandably, you've thought of nothing else since… but you're no longer obsessing over the magical feeling of her-lips-on-yours or the sight-of-him-shirtless. Oh no, no, no. Your gut has doubts and your head has questions. In fact, you're straight-up unsettled. But that's exactly why we're going to walk you through a few of the most commonly confusing feels, so you can figure out what's normal, what's not… and why it all matters, too.

But Why?! You just hooked up! And it felt good!

1. separate the hookup from how you feel about it.

But to get a little more scientific about it, this skip-yourself-down-the-street state-of-consciousness that often occurs in the immediate aftermath of a makeout sesh is actually a biological thing, too. You're fresh off that crazy-cool neurological response that was making you feel all tingly and warm. The Gut Check: Remember, you're literally high on hookup hormones right now. That's totally natural too.

But use that feeling to dig deep and figure out why: Did I go too far?

Was it really my decision… or did I feel really pressured? Sometimes, there's a hard crash after the hookup hormones wear off, and your journey out of the clouds ends with a sobering dose of all-of-the-reality-at-once. Hold up: We never really talked about whether or not we're officially going out. And we were totally safe, right?

The Gut Check: While it's normal to worry a littlefeeling totally freaked can be a that you weren't entirely prepared to take that step you just took — maybe you wish you had gotten to know the person better, or had wanted to DTR first, or, if you had sex, maybe you didn't use a condom in the heat of the moment.

And P. It's sooooo messed up, but many girls feel like they've done something really wrong, just because they've hooked up.

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But…are they? The Gut Check: No doubt, there may be some big questions running through your head: Does this make me slutty? Are people going to talk about me if they find out? Seriously, forget everyone else!

Think: Were you feeling great about your decision…until your friend made a comment? Was it safe and respectful, but you feel like you broke the "rules" of your parents or your religion? The truth is, feeling "off" in the aftermath of a make-out sesh should NOT be ignored. You just shared something SO insanely intimate with someone, and now your head is running around in this hyper-aware state. It's like you're waiting for that person to fail you! Wow, he's the only person who knows about that birthmark on my butt. And shouldn't he have texted me, like, a million times already? Or… does it just feel weird?

But before you put this on them, reflect back on yourself for a sec: What do I want out of this arrangement? Am I getting it? Have I been honest about my feelings… to myself AND to this other person? Sadly, there's no one foolproof way to proceed from here, but just raising these Qs can help to stop the spiraling.

Feeling guilty after sex

Plus, now you've pushed yourself to tap into your true feelings. And that's HUGE. How far do I want to go? And what kind of relationship do I want before that happens?

The great thing is — despite how hard this hurricane of emotions hit you this time around — you now know what you feel comfortable doing and what you don't. And you can use that knowledge to make decisions you feel better about from here on out.

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Your official guide to hooking up

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