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How do i move on after a long term relationship

Posted August 29, Reviewed by Lybi Ma. Nothing can keep you from a happier future than a lingering relationship wound. The bottom line is that it hurts and that the pain is preventing you from moving forward.

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T he aftermath of a breakup can be devastating. Most people emerge from it intact, but research has shown that the end of a romantic relationship can lead to insomnia, intrusive thoughts and even reduced immune function. While in the throes of a breakup, even the most motivated people can have a difficult time determining how best to get on with their lives.

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Our bonds with serious partners can be very different from many other close relationships. When you've been with someone for a large part of your life, it might be hard to imagine your days without them—not to mention the changing dynamics of friendships or support from each other's families.

But when your heart tells you it's time, it's okay to decide you're ready for a new chapter in your life. Plus, being single again doesn't have to be scary: You may even find that exploring your life as an individual can help you get in touch with yourself. So instead of worrying about how to end a long-term relationship, let's put our fears to rest and determine how to break up while being fair to both parties.

Below, read on to learn expert tips on the best ways to break up with someone you've dated for a long time. Once you're certain that you're ready to have the talk, it's important to prepare yourself for the breakup.

You might be concerned about your partner's reaction, or how changing the face of your daily routine will affect your mental health. It's normal to worry about how ending a relationship will take a toll on your life. Those unpleasant steps might seem impossible at first, but with a little preparation, you can do a lot to make the transition easier for both people. Start by thinking about what you need to say—and how you'll say it—to get an idea of how the conversation should go.

You'll also want to choose a time and place that's conducive to an honest, serious conversation for example, approaching this talk over a brunch date may not be the best idea. No matter how nervous you are, breaking up with a long-term partner is likely best in person; ending an important time in your lives can hurt worse if it's done over a phone call or text.

As hard as the truth might be, you'll be helping the other person understand by giving context about why the relationship is no longer working for you. When you're preparing for the conversation, think of a few ways to break the news that explain your reasoning in a gentle way.

Instead, you want to be as calm as you can, be clear, [and] give a reason that you can state in one or two sentences. Breakups are already tough, so take care not to make it come across in ways that hurt worse than it has to.

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Consider how you'd feel in their situation: You'd probably expect honesty and kindness from your S. Decide in advance to whom and what you want to share [while considering] those outside your intimate circle," says Taibbi. After the dust has settled, it's a good time to determine how you'll exchange your things.

Consider "ripping off the Band-Aid" to get past the worst of it. By removing these reminders from your lives, you'll both be able to leave the pain in the past sooner. You can choose a method that works for you. If it helps you move on, you might decide to leave each other's things with a mutual friend or send them in the mail. Some people prefer the step of closurehowever, so be understanding if your ex would rather meet in person to say goodbye.

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Some of us don't like to stay friends with our exes, while others find the transition into life as individuals easier when they can still reach out. At first, it might be best to stop contact with each other to give yourself time to adjust to your new life. Taibbi also notes that if your ex has a hard time accepting the breakup, you'll need to be consistent with your interactions.

If you've decided to stop contact, resist the urge to respond when you're lonely so you aren't sending mixed als. Even if it was your idea to end a long-term relationship, the situation can still be emotionally taxing on both people.

Some things to help you after a break up:

When you're having trouble being alone or missing your ex, devise a plan for coping. That might mean finding a new hobby to occupy your thoughts, or focusing on spending time with your friends.

Whatever route you choose, it's important to cope with the situation instead of avoiding it. It's okay to let go of any blame you might place on yourself; all relationships are different, and for most people, it takes a few tries to find what's right.

Whether you're embracing the freedom of single life or imagining your dream partner, be sure to keep your own best interest in mind. Your Privacy Rights.

5 ways to pick yourself up after the end of a long-term relationship

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Michelle Guerrere. Michelle Guerrere has a degree in journalism and nearly a decade of experience covering fashion, beauty, lifestyle for a variety of digital and print publications.

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