No matter how much you love someone, sometimes that's not enough for them to pause and consider your feelings in a given situation. Whether they do it intentionally or by accident, sometimes you're going to have to deal with a selfish partner. That doesn't necessarily mean they're selfish all the time — chances are your honey does thoughtful and caring things throughout the week that you really appreciate, but slips up now and then when it comes to looking out for your needs.
Having a selfish boyfriend can be annoying. He finds playing video games, hanging out with his friends more fun than spending time with you. All this can be bothersome and may lead into a break-up. If you suddenly find that your boyfriend has become more selfish in the relationship, start talking about it with him.
David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs. Read full profile. Everyone is selfish to a certain extent. While normal levels of self-love, self-value and self-confidence are important for people to function well, there is a line between these characteristics and being a little too self-absorbed, arrogant or just plain narcissistic. For example, some people are always trying to make others believe that their own world is the better one, while others will always cut you short and try to air their grievances when you wish to air yours.
Yet others can talk for hours about themselves, making you feel like you are of lesser importance. These selfish people love the idea of all for one—only when that one is them. The first piece of advice for dealing with selfish people is to be real with yourself.
How to deal with a selfish boyfriend (a step by step guide)
Accept that the self-centered person might never consider your needs first. They can have moments of generosity and charm, but for the most part, they simply lack the skill or willingness to be thoughtful and considerate. This knowledge will give you a clear understanding of where you stand in the relationship. Selfish people are emotional pirates. For example, if there is any discomfort in your physical appearance, head to the barber or boutique and improve it.
It only sets you up for being emotionally drained and hurt. Just be true to yourself. Alleviate any feeling of anger you may have towards them by focusing on the person you are and resolving to continue being that considerate and loving person that you know you are. A self-absorbed person may be so caught up in herself that she forgets to consider your thoughts or feelings. She might just need a little reminder that the world does not revolve around her.
Speak up and tell her as much without coming across as if you are attacking her. Would you be willing to listen to me? This is a powerful strategy to deal with extremely selfish people who refuse to regard others. The trick is to be civil but never offer the attention the self-absorbed person craves. It works by limiting your words to bland, noncommittal comments with them.
Remember, attention is your treasure.
Whatever interests you—carpentry, cooking, politics, you name it—bring it up in conversations with a self-absorbed person instead of pouring all your attention onto the topics he brings up. Selfish people always ask for favors, but they squirm out of helping you when you need their help.
While it is important to be tolerant and give a selfish friend or partner a chance to change, it is also important not to enable their selfishness—especially if it ends up hurting you.
If you get into a position where you have to defend your stand, make it short and to the point since selfish people are not the best listeners and may not even listen to you anyway. Once you realize that someone is too selfish and self-absorbed, it is high time you stayed away from them. Limit your time together as much as possible.
If you used to have coffee dates every evening, space the dates farther and farther apart, and stop calling and replying to all their messages.
You may be met with a myriad of reactions from disinterest to tantrums and anger, but hold firm. Your time is better off spent alone than with overwhelmingly selfish people. Recall the pain, agony, hurt and exhaustion of giving intense emotional energy to selfish, inconsiderate people and decide no more. Refuse to allow yourself to get attached to such friends.
Instead, seek new friends who pay as much attention to you as you do to them. You can make new friends by going out more and interacting with new people at social events, religious places of worship and volunteer centers. Once you have new, better friendsyou can entertain yourselves with tales of the selfish person who pillaged your energy and plundered your emotions for a while—or not. If the selfish person you are dealing with does not seem capable of changing, he may be more than just self-centered and selfish—he may be a narcissist.
Narcissists are not only selfish and self-absorbed, but also lack feelings of sympathy and purposely use others. They are harder to deal with than the average selfish person. Life is too short to be bogged down by selfish people and tied down in toxic relationships that suck the energy and happiness out of you.
Featured photo credit: Ed Yourdon via flickr. Eugene is Lifehack's Entrepreneurship Expert. He is the co-founder and creative lead of HighSpark, offering presentation training for companies. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step.
A familiar thump echoes throughout your body — your heartbeat has gone off the charts.
10 great ways to deal with selfish people
Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice.
What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside. Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:.
The audience will notice you are nervous.
If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements. Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time: Advertising. Ever felt parched seconds before speaking?
And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out. A sip of water will do the trick.
It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly. Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. Meditation is like a workout for your mind.
11 ways to deal with a selfish partner
It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength. Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. One thing people with a fear of public love have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure. Do I look funny? Do I look stupid?
Will people listen to me? Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose — contributing something of value to your audience. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you man their interests at heart. There are two sides constantly battling inside of us — one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities.
Which one will you feed? What if I forget what to say? All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy — a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most.
Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get selfish is to practice numerous times before your actual speech. However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts. Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content — a definite way to stress themselves out.
Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own How which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Deing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.
One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking.