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Although I do think it's decision time for me personally whether or not to have this is not anything I am rushing into. My ex wanted from day one of getting married but I knew that we needed to fix our problems in our marriage first before adding another stress. Thankfully we didn't have then and we didn't screw anyone up.
I completely identify with your older friend and the statement of wanting to wait to make sure they would be a good parent. I feel that's exactly what I've been doing and continue to do. I've said in earlier posts that I know v. So it goes. I've always thought having passion is great but having compassion is better.
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You still have to want to make it work. If you are thinking of divorce then stop thinking of other solutions because counseling has no if your frame of mind has one foot already out the door.
Repeat counseling is a tool not a panecea to your problems. It is not magic, you still have to put sweat equity into it. Counseling helps to identify where you both are allowing your own pride from keeping you both from communicating. So shit or get off the pot as it were. Sounds like you are on the fence. You are using the thing as an excuse to not commit one way or the other.