When it comes to that work, I have a bit of an advantage. In fact, lonely marriages are real. And too common.
B eing lonely is not just an emotion reserved for those who are single or alone. But there are ways to work through it. Whatever the culprit, here, a few experts explain why you might be feeling this way and provide ways to address the root of the loneliness you may be experiencing.
She aspires to motivate, to inspire, and to awaken your best self! Read full profile. Loneliness in marriage affects millions of couples around the globe. And this is where at least one partner, typically the woman, feels emotionally abandoned. Loneliness is real for many couples. Maybe, over the years, your communication has become openly argumentative and hostile. What started as constant little flare-ups, in time, evolved into major blow-ups.
And to avoid those destructive interactions, you stop talking altogether.
Lack of emotional intimacy —which, in some cases, can lead to extra-marital affairs—is yet another reason why you might feel lonely in your marriage. Also, you may feel unsupported by your spouse. During times of high duress, your partner may not show enough empathy for your feelings, compelling you to pull away and further cause a slow erosion of your emotional connection. If you fear your spouse—their aggressive behavior and verbal beatings—you probably spend a great deal of time avoiding them or walking on eggshells to circumvent any type of conflict.
If you want to on feeling lonely in an abusive relationship, check out the article The Loneliness of the Emotionally Abusive Relationship. Living in terror is no way to live. You and your partner may be like ships crossing in the night. Perhaps, one of you comes home after the other one is asleep or leaves before the other one is awake. This can cause you to lose touch with one another—to cease sharing all the little daily happenings. Eventually, this creates a rip in the fabric of your relationship that feels too big to patch.
In every relationship compromises are necessary, and this might be a big one. Every job is important, stressful, and has pros and cons. Of course, both careers and children need attention, but not at the risk of losing your marriage. There has to be a balance in all aspects of your life together. Things happen! Unfortunate situations show up at your doorstep when you least expect them. You want to feel like you have an anchor in your time of grief. If that emotional support has been missing from your marriage and your partner has failed to consistently exhibit much compassion or empathy, you can clearly see how that would impair the relationship and germinate seeds of loneliness in your marriage.
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It also helps you establish a foundation for your future together. Additionally, the practice of offering emotional support provides a foundation for being able to resolve conflict kindly, see your partner from a place of reality, and attach securely to one another. How often are you sexually intimate with your spouse? In marriages where one or both partners are lonely, rarely do the couples make love or take time to bond. Furthermore, the little displays of affection that may have occurred regularly when you first got together, such as a good morning kiss, a caress on the shoulder, a pinch on the behind, etc.
They are the precursor to sexual intimacy. If you are experiencing none of those, then chances are that you may be feeling lonely. A kiss. A hug. A squeeze on the shoulder forces us to slow down, even for a few seconds. They allow us to notice and be noticed. If you and your spouse see each other 20 minutes a week in-between taking the kids to soccer and ballet and a grueling work schedule, loneliness rigor mortis can set in.
Being absent is one of the ways in which couples lose touch with each other. Why is quality time important? Effective communication and quality time together thus plays a major role in sustaining a relationship, preventing it from becoming boring. But it is important that the time you share is meaningful. All the little things add up to the big stuff.
They create a life! I treat a couple who has been married for six years and currently experiencing this precise situation. Finally, the mother-in-law apologized, and now things seem to be on the mend, but the old scars remain.
Old wounds need to heal for partners to move forward in marriage. Past hurts need to be resolved and kept where they belong—in the past! If you are married and feeling lonely and neglected, what can you do to make things better? There are myriad things you can start implementing immediately.
Are you lonely in your partnership or marriage?
Here are some things you can do to avoid feeling lonely in your marriage and make your relationship better. The connection remains strong. One of the biggest problems in relationships where one or both of the parties feel lonely is lack of communication. The couple has stopped talking. Deep conversations are necessary to keep the relationship active and healthy.
These topics may be from outside interactions with others or something specifically between you and your spouse. Talk to your partner. Talk about everything—your work, your expectations, your disappointments, your joy, your fears, your passions. Always strive to learn more about them. He made a picnic basket, then took me to the park where we first met.
There, we had lunch and reminisced. It was an amazing day. Taking a trip down memory lane is a great way to bring some spark back into your marriage as well as to eliminate any loneliness that might have wriggled in due to negligence.
When you think about doing something to improve your marriage to stop feeling lonely, you might imagine that it has to be some grand gesture. That is not the case. Consistently doing small little things for each other shows that you care for each other. For instance, filling up their water bottle, setting out a cup of coffee for them, turning down the bed, making the bed, etc.
Those acts of service add up to big s of love. In a marriage where each partner shows understanding, compassionand respect, there is unity. When there is unity, how can loneliness exist in that marriage? If you treat each other with kindness and respect—are there for each other in every way—no one will feel unheard, which ultimately causes people to feel lonely.
Treat your spouse like you would treat your best friend. Spend time, and show love. Respect who they are as people. Every day is a good day to work on your marriage. To illustrate, work out together or find a hobby that you can both enjoy. These are all fun ways of tending to your marriage. Remember, before anything can happen, you need to have a conversation with your spouse. Talk about it! Then, see what measures can be put into place to eliminate those feelings of isolation. If you both love each other, and better yet, like each other, there will be a willingness to make things better.
And with that, you can make quite a fun adventure!
Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash. Eugene is Lifehack's Entrepreneurship Expert. He is the co-founder and creative lead of HighSpark, offering presentation training for companies. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body — your heartbeat has gone off the charts.
Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside. Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain.
Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:.
Feeling lonely in your relationship? here's what to do about it
The audience will notice you are nervous. If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.
Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time: Advertising. Ever felt parched seconds before speaking?