This is a question that confuses some husbands, and some wives as well, including those who like their hair pulled. They wonder why they like it. There are quite a few nerve endings there which is why having your scalp massaged feels so good. If done right, this can end up being quite a pleasurable sensation.
As well, the nerve centers related to pain and tension and the nerve centers for pleasure are very similar, and, particularly in the female brain, the response in a brain scan for pain and pleasure particularly when approaching or during orgasm are extremely similar. It is set off, in some people, by whispering, rhythmic sounds, tapping or striking which is a reason spanking might be considered pleasurable by some.
Some of you might know the feeling as then response you get to having a hair cut, as that seems to be a common trigger. Not enough to make you shiver, but just enough to make your nerves all light up. People experience this feeling when getting massages, haircuts, listening to a whispered conversation, and a host of other things. This same response might be triggered by having your hair pulled as it stimulates the hair follicles in a similar manner as getting a hair cut.
In fact, some of them are quite worried that they like it, but that may be for the psychological reasons as well. The psychological response for why hair pulling is desired, and is a lot easier to guess at. Hair pulling is a dominant act, akin to pinning someone down or tying them up. It is a controlling action and many women are turned on simply by that fact alone. As I discussed in My wife wants me to tie her up?! This could be for a variety of reasons. Some are required to be in control so much of their life, with kids, management jobs, C-level executive positions, that to have some moments where control is taken away, when someone else is calling the shots, is a relief, in fact, it can be arousing and exciting.
The hair pulling is just symbolic more than anything else in cases like these. Now, in one of our surveyswe found out that twice as many women want this rougher type of sex than men. Turns out this is a fairly common complaint among wives.
So, now you know the reasons, so how do you do it? The first is the easiest, this works best if your wife has long hair.
Get her to tie her hair in a braid, then, pull the braid. You can either just hold it in your hand, or you can wrap it around your hand. It should just feel like pleasant tension.
The second way is a bit harder and requires some practice to get the technique write, particularly in the moment. It might hurt a bit the first couple of times until you get it.
Basically you can to put your fingertips on the back of her neck and slide them up, fingertip against the scalp until your palm is off of her neck. Everything under your palm should be skin where hair grows. So, your fingers should be fairly surrounded with hair. Ideally, you should have each finger interlaced in within her hair. You should have a fair bit of it, so, again, no individual hair or piece is under too much tension causing pain.
Sometimes you can just get it wrong and end up pulling the little short hairs at the top of the neck though, and that can hurt. If you did, try moving up higher next time. Now, try to keep the tension downward, not up, as that will pull wrong and cause really irritating pain.
Now, both of these work really well when just kissing, or having sex doggy style. The more aroused she is, the more arousing it will be.
If your wife has been sexually abused in the past, be very careful with this, definitely talk about it first and go slow. For the others, gauge for yourself if you need to have a discussion first. Some couples prefer to talk every new activity over, others like to be surprised. Subscribe to get the 2 PDF full of questions to help you and your spouse start to talk about your sex life.
Why do some wives like their hair pulled?
Great article. Woman love to be dominated by their husbands, especially in the bedroom.
So men, if you want great sex, dominate you wife. Dominating her is not in, any form, or fashion misusing her, or abusing her. I agree, women seem to like dominant men more, and even more so as hair progresses, as men are becoming less and less dominant with each year. The genders ARE different but sometimes people make assumptions about those differences that have more to do with their personal preferences than actual created differences.
Sorry if you were offended. It was not my intent. In fact, I did not address your particular situation at all which seems to be that the wife is dominant and the husband submissive, from your description. I was addressing a different subset of the population: women who like having their hair pulled during sex, of which your wife does Sex seem to fit within. I think you may have extended the discussion beyond the intended bounds.
Nothing you have said gives pulling enough information either way.
Want to experiment with some hair tugging? here’s how to try it out without hurting your partner.
No offense taken on my part. I was simply showing that this generalization is not necessarily true.
Let me know if you want her address. Jay Dee, Jr made a valid point, at which you seem to have been offended.
He has a right to his opinion, is it true? Each of us does. As a grown man, you should be aware that just like men, women should not be lumped into one pile. All, many, of us do not like or approve of the trend towards domination during sex. I have spoken with too many females who only desire and want to reach that illusive orgasm, but because of selfish partners, or other circumstances, are not most times able to achieve. Yes many of us as, women are that way, when it comes to men.
Our traits can cause us as women to accept a lot of unfair and outrageous things done to us. I was merely clarifying my position. But, I think many women would argue with you that pulling hair or giving oral sex provides nothing towards sexual satisfaction for a woman.
Am I missing something else you want to ask in a survey? Exactly what question would you ask? Jay Dee, I agree with you and I agree with everyone else who values their own opinions and feelings based on this topic. It is a each to their own opinion and desire to rather like their husband, or wife being dominant in the bedroom in that sort of way. I myself like the dominance of hair pulling and being rough….
13 things women think guys want in bed (but they don't)
I want to add a few things. Firstly, I was sexually abused as a young pulling for 2 years and have not so much overcome that with much older men, but with my husband I do not feel in anyway unsafe or violated because of my past. If I did…. My question would be how could a women or man marry someone if they feel uncomfortable in an intimate level and do not trust them?? How unfair to yourself and your spouse if that is the case…. And, I personally feel when it comes to dominance in the bedroom with me and my spouse, we both switch it up on whose dominant…we both are at times.
As for the being dominated in acts of hair pulling etc. It all boils down to foreplay, horomones changing throughout the month and Sex you said…. There you have it. Everyone hair to really re-read the post…. Get your undies untwisted.
Simply untrue. For many women acts such as hair pulling and giving oral pleasure to our partner can, and often does, indeed lead to our own orgasms. In fact, liking to surrender sexually, in your home — the environment where it is the safest to be yourself suggests that you are a beta masquerading as an alpha by day. Is what they want not so much domination, but for the woman to take a more passionate role.
Most women are pretty passive when it come to really aggressive passion.
Maybe when a guy finds someone willing to go there, he accepts a little femdom with it to keep her interest and keep the passion at the level he desires. Beta shmeta. Even an alpha should see this as a way to put more fuel on the fire.