Tessina, Ph. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today.
The relationship between a mother and her son is a very important relationship to have. It plays a huge role in influencing the way a man treats his romantic partner. When the relationship is a healthy one, the son will learn to show respect, love and affection towards his partner while, at the same time, is able to be independent from his mother. It is a different story however, when the relationship between mother and son becomes so dependent to the point that he becomes unable to make decisions without consulting his mother first. This is where a man is often called a "mama's boy", where he would involve his mother in every single decision he makes even when he has a family of his own. On top of being too dependent, a mama's boy is also the type that could never say "no" to his mother regardless of what he wants.
Have you ever dated a guy and for the most part, things are good? Does it seem like she's always around, sticking her nose into your relationship? She's needy and constantly calls him no matter how minor or severe the crisis of the day.
Guide to dating a mama’s boy
She comes over unannounced, cooks cleans and does his laundry. She may throw few verbal jabs your way and may even be guilty of manipulating situations to her advantage. You're starting feel like you're constantly competing for his affection when it comes to her.
The situation might make you feel a little left out of your own relationship and at times, you may even consider telling him and his mother to get lost! This is a common and very tricky situation to get caught in. You may keep telling yourself that he can change and honestly, he can. What you have to realize is that you have little to no power to make him change.
Why women don't like mama's boys
He needs to want it himself. I will be the first one to admit that yes, I have a strong bond with both of my parents but the connection that I have with my Mom is very different from the one I have with my Dad. Although she has advised me on more than one occasion, she has always remained objective.
This includes where the mother was the sole provider or households where the parents were together, but the father was emotionally estranged, or maybe even died when the son was still in his developmental stages. To help cope with the situation, the mother has pampered and coddled the son and somewhere in her brain, she has transferred the relationship that she had or wanted to have with the father to her baby boy.
According to psychologist Debra Mandel in her book Dump That Chumpthis creates an unhealthy attachment between mother and son making it a mutually dependent and often parasitic relationship. Unfortunately as a lover or partner, you have little to no power in this situation.
Men are not mind readers and often do not realize that what they are doing is damaging the relationship. Get your point across, but do it in a respectful and calm manner.
Tips on how to handle a mama’s boy
I guarantee if you show anger and start throwing around nasty comments, he will rebel and you will lose him. Encourage him into setting some boundaries and see if he makes an effort. Make sure those boundaries are clear and concise. Be realistic and fair but do not compromise your needs. I would even go as far as to involve a psychotherapist as a mediator to help facilitate the changes.
You should set some of you own boundaries as well. Respect the fact that this is a personal issue that he and his mother need to resolve.
If boundaries are part of the plan, your guy needs to communicate it to his mother. No exceptions. You definitely want to prepare yourself mentally as this isn't an easy battle. You need to prepare to let him go and move on if things do not change. Be fair but do not settle for less than you deserve. Empower yourself to decide that if things do not change, then you will leave.
Need advice? Contact him directly via YourTango or visit Insti Gay tor for more info. YourTango may earn an affiliate commission if you buy something through links featured in this article.
I'm dating a mama’s boy – help!
in. YourTango Experts. Expert Blog.
Photo: weheartit. Cameron Gantt. Subscribe to our newsletter. now for YourTango's trending articlestop expert advice and personal horoscopes delivered straight to your inbox each morning. up now! Click to view 8 images. Chaunie Brusie. Read Later.